Why I created Fathers Grieving Together
I’m Carl.
My son, James, passed away.
After James passed away, I became very aware of how easy it is for fathers to disappear into the background of grief.
People care. People mean well.
But fathers can quickly become the person expected to cope, get back to work, support their partner, support the family and somehow keep functioning while their own world has changed completely.
I originally created Fathers Grieving Together not long after losing James.
Looking back, it was too soon for me.
I was still trying to understand my own grief while attempting to help other people with theirs.
More than two years later, I feel differently.
Alongside my own lived experience as a bereaved father, I am a trained therapist with more than 30 years’ experience working with people affected by PTSD, emotional trauma and grief.
I also co-created The Manse Method® and Emotion Pathway®, drawing on decades of therapeutic experience and practical work with people experiencing emotional distress.
But grief and loss were part of my life long before I became a therapist.
I lost my dad from my life through abandonment when I was four years old. As a child, I didn’t have the words for what that loss meant, but I understand now that children can grieve someone who is still alive.
My mum passed away in 2000, and over the years I have also experienced the loss of other family members and friends.
I’m approaching 60 now. If you live long enough, grief touches most of us in one form or another.
What I have learned, both personally and professionally, is that there is no single right way to grieve.
I don’t believe grief needs fixing.
I do believe fathers deserve somewhere they can be heard, understood and supported without being told how they should feel.